Wonderful Wintering

Earlier this month, I came across a wonderful concept:  wintering.

Winter is a time of hibernation and retreat for much of the natural world, explains best-selling author Katherine May in her book Wintering: the Power of Rest and Retreat in Difficult Times.  Wintering is the process by which we rest and recuperate in anticipation of spring. It seems vital to me, especially for parents of children with complex needs.

Another book on this compelling topic, by Kari Leibowitz, PhD, is How to Winter: Harness Your Mindset to Thrive on Cold, Dark, or Difficult Days, These aren’t limited to January and February. After all, “cold, dark and difficult” can rear their ugly heads all year long – especially for parents navigating today’s ever-changing landscape of disability services (or lack thereof).

What appeals to me about the concept of wintering is that it offers a completely different way of being for me at the start of this new year. Rather than focusing on goals, “to do” lists, and all that I "should" accomplish to help my family and others, wintering recognizes the importance of pausing. It assigns value to reading a book, snuggling on the sofa with my dog, enjoying a long walk on a cold afternoon alone with my thoughts. It reminds me that much of what we struggle with in life will wait. We have time (much of the time). We deserve to manage our energy in ways that may feel indulgent but are, in fact, essential to building and maintaining resilience.

As May explained in a recent interview.  Winter is “a time for reflection and recuperation, for slow replenishment, for putting your house in order. Doing these deeply unfashionable things — slowing down, letting your spare time expand, getting enough sleep, resting — is a radical act now, but it’s essential.”

I definitely haven’t mastered wintering, nor do I ever expect to. Goal-setting is in my blood. Productivity is something I strive for and something our family values. And many of the things that keep me busy, especially as the mother of someone with disabilities, are not optional. I can't just choose not to do them in search of a more relaxed existence. 

Still, I’m trying to do something everyday that allows winter to do its job – to take full advantage of the season rather than wishing it away in anticipation of warmer days to come.

Rest, reflection and rejuvenation deserve my time. And yours.

Spring will be here soon. What can you do to make the most of winter, wherever you are?

 **Cardinal photo credit:  Ray Hennessy via Upsplash