Social Media Myths

This is a photo I posted on Facebook from the Fourth of July this year. Our fabulous relatives visited from far away. We had lots of fun reconnecting, reminiscing, and recreating. The weather was wonderful; the laughs and smiles, abundant. The love was plentiful and palpable.

A picture says a thousand words, and this one doesn’t lie. 

But my social media post doesn’t tell the whole truth, either. It’s one chapter, but definitely not the entire story. 

Here’s what the photo doesn’t show:

• The night after this was taken, we hit a deer in our wheelchair-accessible van. It's going to take a month to repair. In the meantime, we're overwhelmed with transportation challenges for our son and can't just call Hertz for solutions.  
• Because I was tired (and alas, I'm not perfect), I lost patience with everyone in my family -- including my wonderful husband and kids, who really were trying to make a difficult situation easier.  I disappointed myself repeatedly for not handling the stress better.
• I loved our holiday weekend, but it wasn't all smiles and laughter. I'm grateful no one was hurt (except the deer :(), but I'm also pretty drained. And I wonder if this reads like a pity party (which is definitely not my intention).

Instead, I hope readers see this as a reminder that a happy photo can coexist with difficult days. I trust that people understand times can be tough, even though we don't scream about it from the mountain tops or jam up our feeds with every little challenging detail. I speak for myself and other parents of kids with disabilities. I know their stories, and they're not all shared on Instagram, Facebook, and Tik Tok.. 

Please try to remember this when you scroll. Enjoy the memes, the reels, and all the happy posts. But also recognize there’s usually a lot more underneath the surface of every person's social media posts (including and especially "mom-fluencers"). Much of it is trying, and maybe even tearful. This goes for just about all of us,I suspect, and especially families with special needs.

Our version of "another normal" contains a million additional layers of complexity that we don’t often allow everyone to see. Most of the time, we don’t need to talk about them or what can be done to solve them. We just want to know you're there for us. And we appreciate your caring and trying to support us in any way you can. 

NOTE: This is written to encourage parents of complex kids AND to enlighten others. The problems associated with parenting posts on social media are well researched and reported. Personally, I'm choosing to positively share info and resources on Instagram and Facebook. I invite you to follow “Another Normal” and leverage social media to  build connections in your world. Just remember we all lead complicated lives that don’t fit neatly into a profile or page. Nothing beats real, human connection. Xo