Self-Care Isn't Selfish

Welcome to another edition of Another Normal. As the mother of three grown children, including a son with severe disabilities, I am passionate about helping young adults with disabilities bloom and grow. And I love learning and sharing what I learn with families impacted by disability. Life is busy, and we often get stuck in neutral. Another Normal offers timely news and information to help propel you forward in the journey.

This week’s edition focuses on the important topic of self-care, since September is National Self-Care Awareness Month.  Hopefully, you’ll find resources to help you improve your own self-care and encourage young adults with disabilities to do the same.  

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If you feel ‘burnout’ setting in, if you feel demoralized and exhausted, it is best, for the sake of everyone, to withdraw and restore yourself.  

--  Dalai Lama

Care for the caregiver.

Self-care is a critical component to a well-balanced, healthy life. And it’s vital for the 65.7 million Americans who are caregivers for a disabled or ill relative. Caregiving can be exhausting and difficult under the best of circumstances, and even harder during a pandemic.  Self-care can help make you feel happy and whole, simply by making it a priority.  

According to licensed psychotherapist Whitney Goodman, “The first step towards real self-care is believing you deserve it. Every single day. Not as a treat, not as a reward, but just because you are a human that needs it to live and thrive.” This is particularly hard for parents and caregivers, who are often trained to put the needs of others ahead of our own.  But taking care of yourself is crucial in order to be fully present for other people. 

Simply put, self-care is not just a buzzword or to-do list. It’s a long-term survival skill.  And most of us need it now more than ever.  Self-care requires practice and commitment and is reflected in virtually every decision you make throughout the day.

Remember, self-care means different things to different people. Browse here to jump start your thinking on this very important topic. Clearly, you’re worth it!

The science behind self-care.

As this Ted Talk explains, research indicates the average American spends nearly half of his/her waking life not paying attention to what we’re doing.  As a result, we’re significantly less happy and more lonely.  Thankfully, we can train our minds to change these disturbing trends. Medical experts suggest practices like mindfulness and meditation can have a positive impact on distractability, happiness and even overall mortality.  Research also shows that gratitude reduces envy, facilitates positive emotions, and makes us more resilient.

• Here’s a motivating podcast that inspires us to pay more attention to our well-being and recognize our innate ability for resilience. 

• This 15-minute guided meditation is particularly appropriate during the pandemic.  

• And this new documentary from Jewel and Deepak Chopra examines how mindfulness can enable us to make more moments matter in our lives and create a more compassionate, caring, and ethical society.

Start somewhere. One step at a time.

1. Read this article from Harvard Medical School to better understand why and how to start practicing self-care NOW.

2. Learn about how you can create a simple and effective daily mindfulness practice. 

3. Discover other easy ways to inject self-care into your regular routine.  

4. Realize your potential and the value you bring to everything you do – even when life is most challenging. 

5. Try journaling. It offers proven benefits to caregivers, especially.

6. Cultivate gratitude in your life wherever you can.