All You Need is Love

Happy Valentine’s Day – a time for many of us to celebrate romance, friendship, and the power of loving relationships.

 

Many adults with disabilities have to choose between love and financial stability, however, because certain government policies stop them from receiving disability assistance if they get married. Last month, a CA Congressman introduced the Marriage Equality for Disabled Adults Act to eliminate such requirements. If approved, it will benefit countless disabled adults who have avoided getting married in order to prevent the loss of government benefits like SSI, SSDI, Medicare, Medicaid and more.

On this day that honors love, I want to honor advocates and policymakers who are working to better understand and serve people with disabilities and their families. People for whom life is really expensive. Love is love. Let’s not legislate against it.

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength. Loving someone deeply gives you courage.

—Lao Tzu

Learning to balance.

Today at 3pm EST, the American Academy of Developmental Medicine & Dentistry (AADMD) is hosting a free webinar on Covid-19 and I/DD. Focus is on how to navigate the days and months ahead, while ensuring freedom from illness and physical well being/ happiness. Balancing these continues to be a struggle for many families (mine included). Learn more from national experts and register here.

 

Expressing love.

I often speak with parents who express their love by caring for their adult children. They’re really good at, but they’re tired. And their “kids” are getting older and often more dependent on them with every passing year. This made me think about what happens when our role changes, as our children grow into adults. Who (or what) might assume some of our responsibilities as we ourselves age? How might that change the relationships we share with those we love? How might it expand their world, by helping them to learn from and lean on others? If this is something you ponder (at night when you can’t sleep, like me), I’d love to know your thoughts.

Love thyself.

Loving ourselves isn’t generally a top priority, especially for busy parents. In her book, Self-Compassion for Parents, psychologist and author Susan Pollak explains why it’s important to nurture ourselves just as we nurture our kids (of all ages). Give yourself a break. Throw away your expectations of perfection. Appreciate what you are doing, rather than fixating on what’s not getting done. Motivating ourselves through kindness is actually way more effective than self-criticism. Easy to forget. Hard to do. Worth the effort.

 

None of us is getting out of here alive, so please stop treating yourself like an afterthought.  Eat delicious food.  Walk in the sunshine.  Jump in the ocean.  Say the truth that you’re carrying in your heart like hidden treasure.  Be silly.  Be kind.  Be weird.  There’s no time for anything else.

--Richard Gere

Employment inspiration.

Sharing this inspiring TedX Talk as a follow-up to the last edition of Another Normal. Featuring the founders of BeanZ & Co. in CT, it offers insights from their business, which employs people with and without disabilities. More importantly, it makes a compelling case for inclusive employment. Hiring individuals with disabilities can enable businesses of all sizes to expand their talent pool, create a culture of diversity, and foster innovative practices. Who do you know who might benefit from seeing this video? How might you use it to help someone you know and love find a job?

Another Normal is a free e-newsletter for parents, caregivers and other people working to help young adults with disabilities grow and thrive.  If this copy was forwarded to you, sign-up for your own copy below. You can also hit the “heart” button at the bottom of this e-mail 🖤 to help others find us on the internet.